How Does That Work Exactly?

Recent events around me have caused me to ponder my newest brain teaser; a reader of social media posts tells the poster they should not write what they are writing.  How does that work exactly?

On social media we have “friends”.  It can be assumed they are “friends” because they know and/or like us, and on most days wish us well.  Yet, it has become clear to me that unless we are posting about what we ate for dinner, or sharing pictures of our perfect children and/or pets, in our perfect homes, living our perfect lives, what we decide to express within the safety of our circle of “friends” is purely fodder for them to pronounce judgement on whether we should say it or not.  Huh?

You see, we are comfortable with dinner, children, pets, and all other types of perfection.  Why do you think influencers even exist…but I digress.  We are not comfortable with messy lives, hurt feelings, sickness, or bad behavior; in other words we are not comfortable with truth.  Therefore, it is deemed the responsibility of we, the writers, not to subject our “friends” to our true emotions or thoughts.

Let’s consider the case of spinach.  I post that I really don’t like spinach; I can’t stand the sight or smell of it and my reason is that it upsets my stomach.  I receive the following responses…my suggestions for alternate responses other than what was received are in parentheses):

1. “It’s not really appropriate for you to speak badly about spinach on a public forum.  I know people that like spinach and they may be hurt by your comments.” (hide my post, scroll past, unfollow or unfriend me)
2. “Sorry your stomach’s upset but you have to get over it and move on.” (hide my post, scroll past, unfollow or unfriend me)
3. “Your comments about spinach ring of immaturity…kindness always.” (hide my post, scroll past, unfollow or unfriend me) 

Every comment is pointed to ignore that I spoke to a fact…how I feel about spinach…and is instead aimed to get me to change what and how I speak about my thoughts.  And no, of course, we are not talking about spinach.  But telling ME how YOU believe I should think, feel, or speak about spinach, well, how does that work exactly?  When did we devolve into a populace that leans away from calling things, or people, by their right name?  I am not advocating lying, and certainly not the inciting of violence, however, if we weren’t meant to tell the truth, even the uncomfortable truth, why would Anne Lamott be so well-known for her quote, “If people wanted us to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”  Why is the truth-teller encouraged to change and not the bad actor?

No one is required to agree with what I, or anyone else, thinks, feels, or writes.  News flash…You don’t even have to like what I, or anyone else, thinks, feels, or writes.  But we should all question what it is about the honest written word that threatens some of us and leads us to try and change someone else’s behavior, but not our own.  How does that work exactly?